What needs men and women seek to satisfy when they are “in love”? Oh boy, everyone has so high expectations!!! It is still a thing to be in love and be exclusive for each other? Or is it?.. What does a couple share, and what are the differences? Of course, I will be formulating my opinion about modern free of ethical standards society of non objectified women and irresponsible pleasure seeking men. Let’s find out what men and women want and expect from relationships…
So… What does a woman want from a man?
First of all, to be with him and never leave, to love this man, to be the only source of inspiration for him and always feel desired, irreplaceable, beloved. It is the need for attachment, for belonging. Official psychology would describe this need as being neurotic or being obsessed. And I confirm! We, women, are addicted to love. And we are crazy about the object of our obsession! If you are a woman –, it is “normal” to feel this way. It is our nature – relationship with a man comes first for every woman! It is the very essence, the blessing and the source of happiness for every woman. A woman is a prisoner of love. The state of emotional dependence for her is a norm! Of course, the degree of immersion can be different, but if a woman loves a man, she always dissolves in him, adjusts and adapts to him. Woman always adapts. Not a man.
At the same time, a woman wants to be with no regular man but with the best one: a billionaire, a Nobel Prize winner, celebrity would also do… She wants a man she can be proud of! With whom she would never regret she chose him. With a man who is “steeper” at least in something: stronger, smarter, richer, more talented. However, without respect and admiration for a man, it is difficult for a woman to love this man and be the inspiration for him at the same time. Man always has to be ahead of her on every position. And that becomes so hard nowadays with emancipated women.
In addition, the woman wants to be protected. And protected in different ways: as an adult woman, as (future) mother of his child and as a little girl. “Adult woman” needs to feel that she is the only one who makes him happy. It is pointless to demand it by shouting. It is necessary to be attractive and inspiring for him – and he will make all your wishes come true. “Little Girl” wants protection, care and unconditional love, extra attention. She is entitled for that too. Woman uses hysteria as a proven method to be indeed nasty little girl. She has a full right to make a scene, because this is her nature. Negativity is a byproduct of women’s life. She cannot digest it or work it out with psychologist, or take a prozac, or go to gum. She has to let it out! Man was given to a woman in order to protect her from all her problems, fears and negativity.
Perhaps, the need to be in a relationship with a man is more critical than anything else. Woman’s self realization is to be loved and love a man. That is all – woman only seeks two states – to be a wife and a mother. However in many women in Western society the need for recognition comes first: as well as vanity, status, achievements, independence. We get what’s called a “heartless bitch” – when a woman competing with other women. Then the man from the subject turns into an object, and women can start to hunt on him. That is the mental state of all free women.
What men want in the relationships?
Unlike woman, a man values his autonomy. Why? A man forms his identity separately from a woman, he must become “someone” in the male world, that is what defines him. So he creates a winning strategy in order to become “someone” indeed. In other words, the masculine self-realization is going outward. He measures himself against the others and participants of the social game. (But for his Mom, he is already the best!). Therefore, a normal man chooses a woman who, first of all, will understand and support his life position and will become his inspiration, not a competition. The biggest ordeal for a man is – who do you think? Those independent feminists women, who are equal, who have the same mental model as he does – compete and win, and don’t be weak. That is the answer to why we have pleasure seeking, irresponsible men today. Because women have such an effect on them! Men are married to women who laugh at them and do not have any respect for them. Man stops being responsible when a woman starts disrespecting him.
A man is not scared of his failure in a relationship. If a woman is unhappy and rejects him, this is extremely painful for him. If the need for respect and recognition is not met, the man leaves the relationship, no matter how much the woman is in love with him. Feminist women don’t know how to love men for everyone’s benefit. They castrate the man - by placing his importance for a family after a dog's one. He needs the recognition not only from his woman, but also from society and have status, his wife, her charm, sexual attractiveness, which is also evident to the other men! Nonetheless, if narcissism is strongly pronounced, then you know how it looks: a woman turns into expensive “status gig”.
The need for neurotic attachment is expressed somewhat weaker in men than the need for respect and success. This is the principal difference between men and women. Men is also afraid of loneliness, they also want love, but a man will not tune in or adjust to a woman. Some women manage to kill the ego of their husbands and they become weak men who are incapable to provide for all, where his wife gets this recognition for being a hero – hard working parent with a fully functioning husband in the house. Women invoke this curse on themselves and their men. A man chooses a woman, while a woman makes a man. And she has the power to make him great or miserable.
Attraction of the opposites.
What is common to both sexes in love – is this paradoxical attraction of the opposites (potentials)! Men are attracted to purely feminine in women (her beauty, her stories, her hysteria), and women are attracted to purely masculine in men (power, money, muscles, intellect). What one does not have attracts the other. Delight fuels the excitement… Therefore, there must be a mystery in the partner, an incomprehensible differences, if you will… Only then the interest in the partner will not fade away, and the soul of both will sing as they find an infinite goodness in each other.